Below 200!

That's right... I now weigh 198 pounds. I am below the 200 lb mark. In celebration, I thought I would revisit my "50 things I will do once I'm not fat" list. To keep things simple, I'll just cross whatever I have done off the list. Isn't that how these sorta things work?

1. Run for fun
2. SCUBA dive
3. Rock Climb
4. Play Soccer again
5. Climb a tree
6. Shop in a thrift store
7. Shop in a regular store
8. Wear thigh-high boots
9. Learn how to salsa
10. T'ai Chi
11. Yoga, (not doing alternate positions)
12. Learn to Dive into a pool
13. Buy a bra that fits properly
14. Play on a pottery wheel
15. Sit on someone's lap
16. Take part in an overnight hike
17. Learn to Rollerskate
18. Wear sexy shoes
19. Ride a rollercoaster
20. Take a ballet class
21. Surf
22. Jump rope
23. Sky dive
24. Bungee Jump
25. Climb a fence
26. Buckle my seatbelt on a plane
27. Use the fold down tray on a plane
28. Flirt
29. Wear shirts tucked in
30. Wear a belt
31. Buy and wear t-shirts at a concert
32. Run a marathon
33. Play raquetball
34. Play tennis
35. Whitewater rafting
36. Kayaking
37. Wear short skirts
38. Not worry about breaking any chair I sit on
39. Be flirted with
40. Date
41. Sit in classroom chairs (attached to desks)
42. Cross my legs
43. Pull ups
44. Be told I'm beautiful, and believe it
45. Grow a gigantic garden and tend it well
46. Sing in a piano bar
47. Write a one-woman show
48. Hold a laptop in my lap
49. Play with kids until they're tired, not me
50. Win an Oscar

There... Now, some things on that list might take a while to cross off, but it felt good to revisit and actually knock a few things off.

They found me!

I had a message on my answering machine yesterday from a woman at my surgeons office. At that point, I realized that though I've been following my rules, making progress and all that fun stuff, I hadn't been getting any bloodwork done, nor talking to my doctor to let him know how I've been doing. Ooops.

But! They found me, called me, I called back and next Wednesday I've got an appointment (telephonic) with Dr. Wittgrove. Whee! I emailed them a picture of what I look like now. And, I now weigh exactly 200 lbs. Crazy.

Today was the fourth day this week that I went swimming. I've also been walking every single day in addition to the swimming. The only thing I'm not doing is strength training. Spoke with the boy on the phone about it mid-week, evidently he used to be very much into the muscle building thing, and seems pretty knowledgable. This does not take away my fear of looking foolish in the weight room. So, instead, I try to do muscle isolating exercises as I swim. Arms-only for a few laps. Now dolphin kick for a few laps. etc. Let me tell you, those few laps of dolphin kick made me feel my mid-section much more than any of the crunches I did in my room wednesday night. I did 100 crunches and felt like all they did was hurt my neck. I just don't know how to work-out I guess. I should probably get a personal trainer, just like I should probably get a psychologist, but guess what? I'm broke, so that is not going to happen. Therefore, the swimming will continue, the obsessive journalling will continue (I journal obsessively in my handwritten journal, sorry I don't do that here, but you all might think I should be put in a padded room if you read everything I think.) and I will continue to shrink and buy new clothing when I can afford it.

Okay then... That's all for now, folks.

Locker Room Girls

So... this whole dating thing has been really good for me. It is really crazy. Instead of getting weird and very hard to fight snack cravings mid-afternoon, I daydream about boys. It's like I'm reliving the whole highschool experience. Except girls in highschool usually got to see the guys they were dating more often than once a week, right?

Also, after receiving a phone call last night I was on cloud nine walking home. So, the walk home normally just takes me 6-7 minutes. But last night I just kept walking and walking and walking and walking. I left the office around 8:10. But I didn't arrive home until 10:30. That's how much I was a walkin' fool.

Then, this morning, I get up, head to the pool and swim my little heart out. It is amazing how many consecutive laps of crawl I can do. I'm quite proud. Well, after showering, getting dressed, I'm standing at a mirror putting on some make-up. And this girl stands next to me. Wearing only her panties (no bra) and begins to dry her hair. The entire time I'm applying make-up and doing my own hair she just kinda stands there like some weird girl in a horror movie. What is up with that? Can she not put on a bra at least? Or maybe pants? I don't know... wrap a towel around. It's not that I'm a prude. I understand that in a locker room people will be in various states of nudity. But good grief. So... by the time I'm packing up my bag and heading back to my locker another panty-clad girl is standing there drying her hair. It takes me a while to pack up my locker, put my coat on and head out the door. When I do head out the door, there's another panty-only girl standing there drying there hair. All three of them are just kinda half-assed drying their hair, staring out into space. Is this some sort of weird ritual little college girls partake in in the morning? How many girls will be standing there before anyone's hair gets dry and they feel its safe to put on clothing? I think it is just really weird.

Update on weight. This morning I was a fabulous 201 lbs. Which makes the total lost now 144 lbs. That's a whole other person.

Dressing up and Dates

skirt n heels
Originally uploaded by akfirefly76.

Look! It's me wearing a skirt, tights, and heels. Amazing, eh? Well, most of you have probably already seen this picture. But I thought I'd use it to show that, yes... I have finally figured out a means of posting photos to my blog.

What about the rest of the title? What do you mean by dates? Well, I was offered the fruit version, pit and all, by a strange man in a fur hat on the train on sunday. But... In actuality, I had a date last Saturday and another coming up this Saturday. Same guy, second date. I'm all a-twitter. It's really weird though, for years I knew who the guys I was dating were looking at. I understood what they saw. Now, even with pictures and mirrors, I really have no clue. I cannot point to someone walking along and tell if I'm bigger or smaller than them. It is a very weird thing to be in a body that everyone else can see, but I still feel like I'm in some sorta chicken suit.

In other news. (I don't want to talk more about this whole dating thing because I'm very superstitious and I almost didn't say anything at all because I don't want to jinx it.) In other news... The pool was open yesterday and I swam, in heavenly bliss, for almost an hour. What was mildly awkward though was the rake thin string bean who shared my lane with me showed up in the shower room as I was rinsing my hair. It is weird how clothed you can feel with a swimsuit on, and how naked you can feel when you don't have it on and you're covered in soap. Yay communal showers! I do love the fact that unlike this time last year, I only need one towel to wrap-up in as I walk back to my locker.

Vanishing Belly

I was standing in a room the other day. Okay, so it was a bathroom. Anyway. I was standing in profile to this full length mirror on the door. And I stopped and stared. My breasts, smallish though they are, stuck out further in front than anything else. My belly is vanishing! yee haw!

In other news, I went to go swimming today. Let me tell you the ordeal this entails. The locker rooms are 3 floors above the pool. The pool has no space to change. So, you have to put on your swim suit, slide into your flip-flops, grab your gear and walk past the martial arts studio, the weights room, down another flight of stairs past the spinning room, down another flight to the pool. I get there. Wearing just my suit, my flip-flops and a white towel that has that I-am-not-great-at-laundry shade of pink tinting it, I get to the door leading to the pool. And its locked. I check the signs posted on the wall. I check the clock. Yup. It's 8am. The pool is supposed to be open for lap swimming from 7am until 9am. Is it? No. So, I knock. I rattle the door. Here comes another towel clad woman. We both kinda stare at the door. I give up. I walk back up the stairs, with my very dry hair, leaving the pool area, obviously not wet, I walk back up past the spinning room, past all the early morning weight lifting jocks, past the martial arts room. Back into the lockerroom. My flip-flops smacking on the floor in a very awkward manner. I put on pants, a t-shirt, and sneakers and go to the weightroom to do treadmill and then armwork.

I sometimes really hate depending on college kid life-guards for my zen-swim-time. Makes me miss the YMCA. That and at the Y I was mostly surrounded by old geezers, whereas here I'm surrounded by 18-21 year olds. I just turn on my newly acquired new york stare and think, "that's right, the fat lady is walking away from the pool in her floral fat lady swimming suit and silly pinkish towel... I'm cool."

My weight this morning was 208. Getting very close to that under-200 mark. But I refuse to anticipate it, or get all excited.