Self-Image

So, being pregnant has been seriously messing with my self-image. I know that I'm nowhere near as big as I used to be. But the fact that I carried my weight primarily in my belly for 20 years, and am now getting a big (but not very pregnant looking belly, in my opinion) belly once more makes me feel like I'm just as fat as I used to be.

I had a lady in our business offer to let me look through her maternity clothes for some business suits. Yes, she had twins, so was probably bigger than normal pregnant women, but she looks so tiny now, I can't even imagine her clothes fitting me.

I don't really like clothes shopping because I feel like no matter where I go there will be nothing big enough to fit me. I know this isn't true because when I was in Motherhood Maternity the 1X clothes were too big. Grated, the XL were a bit too fitted for my personal comfort. But still, OBVIOUSLY there is clothing that will fit me.

Anyway, I was talking with Nilesh about this body/self-image issue last night and he, being the fabulous guy that he is, was being very logical about it. He told me to go find my old fat pants. The ones I wore at my highest weight. (For those of you who know me, the pants I had painted all the play names on...) I got out of bed, turned on a light and rummaged through the closet. I found them, unfolded them, and stepped into them. I fit entirely in just one leg of the pants. We both started giggling. Two of the current size me (no matter how whale-like I feel) would have been able to share those pants. That grounded me and helped me sleep.

My suggestion for everyone. Save at least one item from your highest weight for moments just like this.

Hopefully, this weekend I'll feel better about going clothes shopping because I'm sick of wearing the same two nice blouses to meetings and events. Also, I need a coat as winter is fast approaching.