Consolidation

Well, I don't post here often, and to make sure I keep posting somewhere, I'm probably not going to post here much at all in the future.

If some grand update soley related to my having had the surgery pops up, I may post, but if you want to keep up with my day to day life try heading over to my other (and now main) blog: Perky Penguin.

And anyone interested in having the surgery and has some questions or looking for vitamins/protein supplementaion feel free to drop a comment or message directly to me.

Belly pains

So, had an ultrasound a couple weeks back. And my midwives are worried that the baby seems so small. (4 pounds at 35 weeks) I'm 38 weeks as of tomorrow, and I have been under orders to eat, eat, eat. Garg. It's hard.

But I'm finding what's even harder is that yesterday I started having little contractions. I do NOT feel like eating when my belly is aching every 15 minutes. But, as the contractions are very far apart and sporadic and only in the upper part of my belly, my midwife thinks they're braxton hicks (practice) contractions. nonetheless, they make me not hungry. But everyone is telling me to eat eat eat.

Self-Image

So, being pregnant has been seriously messing with my self-image. I know that I'm nowhere near as big as I used to be. But the fact that I carried my weight primarily in my belly for 20 years, and am now getting a big (but not very pregnant looking belly, in my opinion) belly once more makes me feel like I'm just as fat as I used to be.

I had a lady in our business offer to let me look through her maternity clothes for some business suits. Yes, she had twins, so was probably bigger than normal pregnant women, but she looks so tiny now, I can't even imagine her clothes fitting me.

I don't really like clothes shopping because I feel like no matter where I go there will be nothing big enough to fit me. I know this isn't true because when I was in Motherhood Maternity the 1X clothes were too big. Grated, the XL were a bit too fitted for my personal comfort. But still, OBVIOUSLY there is clothing that will fit me.

Anyway, I was talking with Nilesh about this body/self-image issue last night and he, being the fabulous guy that he is, was being very logical about it. He told me to go find my old fat pants. The ones I wore at my highest weight. (For those of you who know me, the pants I had painted all the play names on...) I got out of bed, turned on a light and rummaged through the closet. I found them, unfolded them, and stepped into them. I fit entirely in just one leg of the pants. We both started giggling. Two of the current size me (no matter how whale-like I feel) would have been able to share those pants. That grounded me and helped me sleep.

My suggestion for everyone. Save at least one item from your highest weight for moments just like this.

Hopefully, this weekend I'll feel better about going clothes shopping because I'm sick of wearing the same two nice blouses to meetings and events. Also, I need a coat as winter is fast approaching.

No Bile! yay!

So, one of the up sides of having puked every 20 minutes for the greater part of 14 hours starting Sunday evening was that thanks to my surgery, there was no bile in my vomit. After the first heave-session, there was also no food, so in general, it felt like this crazy and inherrently futile exercise my body was being forced through.

Any clues as to why? Oh yeah, and at the same time I was also suffering from absolutely terrible/horrible/awful ligament stretching pains across the whole of my pregnant belly.

Yesterday I managed to eat a whole slice of bread and a tomato juice. Only about 20 ounces of water and one cup of tea.

Which means today, though I'm not feeling hungry, I know I should eat something. And though drinking water makes me feel mildly nauseous, I know I have to keep shoveling the water down my gullet.

Yup. That's my life today. Oh, and clean the kitchen because Nilesh was so worried about me he bought a pineapple and a guava and two pears, but neglected to clean up all of Sunday's breakfast/lunch dishes. Ugg. Whee! He told me to not worry, he'll get to them tonight, but I figure, I'm home all day, I can at least do a sink full of dishes.

Return of the Freaky Chewing habit

Okay. So... tonight, we sat down for dinner. I mixed some steamed chicken breast with our leftover habenero spanish rice. I take one bite. Swallow. Take another bite, another. And then... BAM! Feel like I need to puke. Like a moron, I take another bite or two. By this point, my stomach hurts and I've realized that I should head in the general direction of the toilet, to kneel down and bow my head to the gods of vomit.

After three visits to the porcelain idol, I finally get rid of a chunk of chicken that had been causing the whole problem. Blasted chicken wasn't chewed hardly at all. The subsequent bites of food all just piled on top and made me feel worse and worse. Tracy's moral of today's adventure? Remember always to chew, chew, chew, chew, chew.

My poor Nilesh kept hovering in the bathroom door asking me if there was anything he could do to help. Asking me if this was something caused by pregnancy, and I had to reply, "no... I just didn't chew my chicken."

On the clothing front, I found a couple tops and a pair of pants last week at... ugg... Old Navy. I'm keeping the receipt so that hopefully, after I'm done with these clothes I can just take them back and get money. I cannot wait for the day when I actually know I'll be wearing the same (or close to the same) clothing size for longer than 2-3 months. But... having tried on a variety of sizes at Old Navy, I at least have some sort of an idea what sizes to look for on the craigslist clothing section.

Remember! Chew your food.

Clothing Sucks

So I used to think that figuring out my size as I lost weight was a pain in the ass. Now, I'm smaller, but have to account for an ever growing belly. How big will it get? I don't know. Do maternity clothes expand for all the way through 40 weeks of pregnancy? I hate clothes shopping, but now at 20 weeks pregnant, most of my pants are starting to get a bit tight, if I can still wear them at all. I'm supposed to go clothing shopping this weekend, but the thought really scares me. I mean seriously... how much do you spend on clothing that is only going to be worn for 20 weeks? Because I'm pretty sure that after this pregnancy and before the next (we're hoping to space the kids out at least 3 years apart) I will lose more weight and whatever maternity clothes I buy now won't be useful then, will they?

In other news. I've discovered the absolute joy of Kale. Kale in eggs. Kale in casseroles. Kale in soups. and best of all, Kale in my daily fruit/protein smoothie. mmmmm. Kale. My new favorite vegetable.

Big News and Curves

So... There is actually a perfectly legitimate reason I have been highly neglectful of my blog. I'm pregnant, and have been since April, but didn't tell my family until mid June, hence couldn't really post about it here because they're my primary readers. Before anyone gets all crazy, yes my surgeon is aware and I'm taking good care of myself. I've been hovering at about 198-200 lbs for the last couple months. Which is weird. The docs I've talked to don't wan't me losing weight, but I can see my face and arms and upper body in general getting smaller still, so the fact that though I seem to be getting smaller, but my weight is staying the same for now (I'm 17 weeks along) seems like a good thing.

I've moved to chicago with my fiance (yup, other big news) and although I've only been here a week and we have no furniture, I love it. Walking everywhere, and on Monday I discovered that not half a block from my apartment is a Curves. So, I joined up and have already gone wed, thurs, and fri. This is all in addition to walking 2+ miles a day, 45 minutes of yoga a day and whatever else happens in my life. Foodwise, now that I'm not at home anymore, I'm back to three simple meals a day. Love everyone at home, but my goodness, with so much food in that house, its harder than anything to not snack.

As I've currently got no job, I am hoping I'll be able to maintain this blog a bit more frequently. And oh yeah! Happy late surgery birthday to my mom and me. Our new bellies are now just over a year old. woot!