Sugar Free for Eight Days

I figured while waiting, I'll try to get used to some of the changes I'll have to make in my diet. So... a week ago, I decided to stop eating any candy, cakes, cookies. Basically, anything with processed sugar. Not quite ready to completely ditch carbs. But my god. I'm dreaming of eating candy, feeling guilty and spitting it out into my hand. Hiding the chocolate covered hand and cookie crumbs under a table.

The WLS support group is trying to gather up a group to do some Walk-a-thons in May and June. I want to do it, but I'm also scared that I won't be able to keep up with them all.

Heck. Wednesday, I walked 1.4 miles in 32 minutes on a treadmill at the YMCA. I was feelin' great about myself. Like, "aww yeah... look at me go." And then the next morning I woke up with searing pain along the outside of my ankles. Pain is the biggest obstacle for me to regular exercise. I can't swim right now because the chlorine has been agravating my throat (yay post nasal drip) and walking seems to take me out of commission for a day or two. Gah.

I'm still just waiting patiently, of course. Gotta get through my six months of doctor supervised diet. Whee. But, only three months to go, so not all is bad.

I'm kinda nervous that I may have to really rush my surgery and spend the first month of recovery, not at home being pampered, but at the McCarter Theater in Princeton, NJ struggling through the first month of a directing internship.

I applied for the internship. And when I get it, then I'll worry about the timing and stuff like that.

In the midst of waiting

Tonight is a WLS support group meeting. I've been looking forward to this, but I have a feeling it might make me even more antsy. I want surgery now!

I keep thinking in the future tense. All about what I might look like, what activities I might be able to do. Practicing chewing my food, not drinking half an hour before or after eating. Trying to figure out what the highest protein foods are, etc. One of the craziest things my brain did was look at clothing sizes other than my standard 3,4 or 5X.

I want to take dance classes, get SCUBA certified, learn to rock climb. And it almost made me wonder, "Will I love theater as much when I'm not fat?" What if I want to do something else with my life? Well, we'll see when the time comes, eh?