Waiting for Intracorp

Sandra got everything faxed into Intracorp on Thursday. Per Intracorp's wacked policy, the faxes were all date-stamped received with Friday's date. (This seems a bit odd to me. Why wouldn't you date-stamp something received on the day you received it?) And I'm gonna give a call tomorrow afternoon to see what's happening.

I get nauseous in my stomach thinking about the surgery sometimes. And I'm not sure if its nerves while waiting for approval or fear about the surgery itself. Probably a combination of both.

I do love daydreaming of what I might look like two years from now. And it kinda scares me while simultaneously thrilling me. Since I started socializing with non-family members at the age of five, I've been fat. My whole self-identification centers around being fat. My arms and legs make room for my belly. I hope I'll be able to rewire both my physical, intellectual and emotional selves so that I don't always see the fat me in the mirror.

Also, I hope I'm pretty. That's probably lame, but what if my face is only pretty when fat? What if I have some weird deformations I never knew about that will only show up once I lose weight. Gah. I just want to hear from insurance, so I can stop this unproductive thought cycle.